Provisions

It’s a humbling thing to feel helpless. As “the mom” I’m used to taking care of all the stuff at home - the meals, the baths, the groceries, the chores, the boo boos, the entertaining, the appointments, the social outlets, etc. Then all of a sudden I was post-surgery and needed my family to literally put straws in my mouth so I could drink water, and this I couldn’t even ask for! I was so weak that I would just make different motions with my mouth to indicate whether I was asking for water or ice chips. (It makes me laugh to think about it now, but it was so not funny at the time.) 

I’ve seen God provide before. When we had our first baby, I wanted to cut back to working part-time, but we couldn’t afford it. Then 5 days before she was born, Jake got offered a job at Gulfstream, the pay increase, of course, being exactly what we needed. Again when we had our second baby we prayed about it and really felt like God was leading me to stay home full-time. We worked on the budget but kept coming up short. This time we took a leap of faith, and I resigned, knowing it was completely illogical to do so by most standards. Within a couple of months, Jake got a promotion and accompanying pay increase that was, you guessed it, the exact amount I had given up...like for real, within dollars. 

It’s no surprise that while I’ve been so physically restricted these past few weeks, God has continued to provide for us and take care of our physical needs through His people. My parents have watched the girls for hours and hours of appointments, my mother in law cleaned and did our laundry, a friend from our life-group came over to vacuum, another picked up medicine and dropped it off. 

A sweet friend organized a Meal Train for us, and it’s been so beautiful and faith-building to receive. Friends have signed up to bring us meals 3 days a week for six weeks of recovery. What’s crazy though, is that we’ve had food to eat SEVEN days a week. Between left-overs, meals that were given that weren’t on the schedule, and gift cards to restaurants, we haven’t had to worry about dinner since surgery. I’ve tried to cook one time, and even then God gave me a friend who was visiting that weekend to chop all the vegetables that my still-tender muscles just couldn’t handle. 

I’m reminded of how God fed the Israelites manna in the desert, and not just manna, but meat as well! And I think of the story of Elijah and the widow in 1 Kings 17. During the drought, there was somehow (through God’s provision and intervention) always food though it made no logical sense. Then, not only did God give Elijah, the widow, and her son food, he gave back the life of her son when he had died! God not only provides, He provides abundantly, showering His children with goodness. (It may not always be physical, or monetary - another subject for another time - but He does provide...)

What’s so cool about all of the love and support we’ve received is the impact it’s having on our girls. Our prayer through this whole ordeal has been that their faith would be strengthened through the trial. Last night at church, Liliana’s small group leader asked the kids to share a time when they either served someone else or were served by someone. Liliana responded by telling the group about how “Mommy had surgery and so many friends have been bringing us food.” She gets that we are being served by our friends, just as Jesus served His.

And oh, how those sweet girls have served their momma through these past few weeks! They’ve made me pictures, written me notes, climbed up on the counter to reach cups from the top shelf, cleaned the house, made me smoothies, gotten me water, and even washed my feet when I couldn’t shower. Ive seen this growth, and maturity, and selflessness in them that I’m not sure could have been produced except through this trial, and it is so beautiful. One of the “goods” that God has worked through our less-than-desirable circumstance (Romans 8:28) has undoubtedly been an answer to our prayer for their faith, and I’m quite certain I can’t even fathom at this point the fullness of that answer. That, and the relationships between each of the 4 of us - they are stronger and deeper than ever. 

As one who has struggled with anxiety, Matthew 6 has always been on my radar, but I appreciate it on a whole new level these days! 

Do Not Worry

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.