The Prayer of Saint Patrick

The Prayer of Saint Patrick

I arise today

Through the strength of heaven;

Light of the sun,

Splendor of fire,

Speed of lightning,

Swiftness of the wind,

Depth of the sea,

Stability of the earth,

Firmness of the rock.

I arise today

Through God's strength to pilot me;

God's might to uphold me,

God's wisdom to guide me,

God's eye to look before me,

God's ear to hear me,

God's word to speak for me,

God's hand to guard me,

God's way to lie before me,

God's shield to protect me,

God's hosts to save me

Afar and anear,

Alone or in a multitude.

Christ shield me today

Against wounding

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,

Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,

Christ on my right, Christ on my left,

Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down,

Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,

Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,

Christ in the eye that sees me,

Christ in the ear that hears me.

I arise today

Through the mighty strength

Of the Lord of creation.

(borrowed from beliefnet.com:)

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If I could summarize my second cancer season thus far, I would say that God has made His presence abundantly known. I can think of no other prayer that so vividly and accurately represents my lived experience than that of Saint Patrick. And how appropriate too, being that I live in an area that takes St. Patrick's Day very seriously (albeit in all the wrong ways). No, not Ireland; Savannah, Georgia.

I super love the book of Psalms. As a highly sensitive person who is very in tune with a wide range of emotions, they just speak to me and often give me words when my own fail. I've read Psalm 139 plenty of times, but on the day of the surgery to place my chemo port, I experienced it in a whole new way!

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!

2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

    you discern my thoughts from afar.

3 You search out my path and my lying down

    and are acquainted with all my ways.

4 Even before a word is on my tongue,

    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.

5 You hem me in, behind and before,

    and lay your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

    it is high; I cannot attain it.

7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?

    Or where shall I flee from your presence?

8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!

    If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

9 If I take the wings of the morning

    and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

10 even there your hand shall lead me,

    and your right hand shall hold me.

11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,

    and the light about me be night,”

12 even the darkness is not dark to you;

    the night is bright as the day,

    for darkness is as light with you.

It was 5:00 a.m. when we arrived. I was nervous because in my ignorance, right up until the prior afternoon I thought that getting the port put in was a minor procedure that only required meds to make me a little loopy. I didn't know it was considered a surgery and required general anesthesia, which always just makes me uncomfortable. 

God first made His presence known when we were called into a registration office to sign forms and make the payment. There was gospel music playing and a painted rock that God used to remind me of who He is - "I am the good shepherd. I know my own sheep and they know me. John 10:14"

While we were in that office, I picked up an "Our Daily Bread" booklet that was on the table. When we went back out to the waiting room, I flipped to that day's date and read the entry. It was about a man who had served as the chief baker on the Titanic and survived its sinking. Amazingly though, many years later while serving during WWII, he survived another sinking ship! He survived twice! If God could save him from two shipwrecks, He can certainly save me from cancer twice!

The next step was pre-op - changing into a hospital gown, getting my vitals, etc. before surgery at 7:00 a.m. This was when God really ramped up showing us His presence. After my nurse had come and gone, and I was just reclining on the stretcher that would take me into the OR, another nurse knocked and came in. As she was telling me that I may not remember her and started explaining our connection, her name came to me, and I remembered clearly. She had been an older student in our homeschool co-op our third year in when her mom was Liliana's tutor. She even babysat for us a time or two. Through social media she knew what we were going through then happen to see my name on the schedule. She told us that God had prompted her to come pray with us, and just hearing that made my eyes melt into tears. She came near, wrapped her arm around me and prayed over me. She gave me the biggest hug, and I just leaned in and held on for a moment. It felt like God Himself was hugging me through her arms. 

That would have been plenty enough for me to be convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that God was with us that day. But He didn't stop there. Not long after, our surgeon came in to tell us what to expect and answer last minute questions. When we had no more, she said, "I have a question for you all. Would you mind if I prayed with you?" Of course not! She sat on the side of my bed, held my hand, and prayed that God, the Divine Physician would heal me and guide her hands. I can't imagine a better, more peace-filled way to go into surgery than to know that the surgeon was working on behalf of the Lord. 

That really would have been more than enough, right? ... When I woke up in the recovery room, another sweet nurse was sitting beside me. I was a little weepy and told her that I didn't think the tears were a side effect of the anesthesia so much as just an outpouring of all I was going through. God definitely assigned her to me because she told me all about how her mom went through breast cancer and chemo when she was fifteen and continued to tell me about the positive effect it had on her life! One benefit that I never even considered was that she said it greatly impacted the kind of man she married. She had watched her father tenderly and faithfully care for her mother, and she married a man just like him. We then ended up chatting about homeschooling as she is considering it as an option for her baby in the future, and we also realized we have some common acquaintances and live nearby each other. So cool.

Ok, that's the end right? Nope! They rolled me to my final room where I could get dressed and get discharged. My surgeon's nurse from her office, who I knew prior to all this, came over from the opposite side of the hospital to check in on me and offer encouragement. 

To top it all off, and the part that really made the connection to the "hem me in" part from Psalm 139, that first nurse who prayed with me came by once more to see me off. 

How loving is our God?! How incredibly and abundantly generous is He?! Even if He didn't do all that, what He did on the cross alone would have been enough, but oh, what joy and comfort and peace I felt being completely, clearly wrapped in His presence! Praise be to God!

In honor of Saint Patrick's Day, check out one of my favorite songs this time around by my all-time favorite band - "The Prayer of Saint Patrick" by Rend Collective