Along The Road

It’s true what they say about near death experiences...how they make you evaluate your life thus far and permanently change your perspective moving forward. Not that I’m claiming I had a “near death experience” - not really - but cancer has changed my perspective nonetheless. When Hurricane Dorian was making its way toward the coast, Jake got some unexpected time off from work. And with that gift of an unscheduled calendar we decided it was time to pull the training wheels off of Liliana’s bike once and for all. We gave her a little pep talk, and within a half hour BOTH girls were zipping around our circle unencumbered! As I walked behind, watching those two precious girls ride side-by-side, giggling and talking as they rode along, I was completely overcome with gratitude. I found myself repeating “ thank you for letting me be here for this ” over and over. A week later we spent the evening at our favorite beach. Again, as we walked along the water’s edge collecting “seashells...

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am not a risk-taker. Not even a little bit. In fact, I am completely risk-adverse. And Jake...more of a risk-taker than me, not afraid to do dumb things or get hurt, but when it comes down to making real grown- up  decisions, not a risk-taker either. And we are both numbers people. We want to know current numbers, tracks, percentages, variables, statistics, the odds. So since the mammogram in February, there's been a lot of digging to find the numbers and the risks at every turn. What's the percentage of survival? What's the rate of recurrence? What are the risks of surgery? Well how many people experience those risks? What are the drawbacks to radiation? What are my chances of recurrence with versus without radiation? With or without this medication? What are the rare-but-serious as well as the common side effects?  And when we were agonizing over the decision of whether or not to do radiation, Jake looked at me with the confidence of ...